Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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