Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
