Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
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When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
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When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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