We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
