I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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