Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
