Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
