You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
