I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
this hospital has no fireball
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
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