he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
