I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
