He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
is it fun? or sober?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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