Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
