Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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