So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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