based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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