well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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