I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize