when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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