y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
