you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize