Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
