i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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