shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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