I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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