I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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