In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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