And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
