it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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