There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
