You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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