I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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