I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
false alarm, still single
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
