I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's blow job season.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
