He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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