I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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