i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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