apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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