yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
party gras won. party gras always wins.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
