i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
