I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
