like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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