Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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