You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
