I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
