Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
