Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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