Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut my penus on the lid.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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