Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
