I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
