You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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