He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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