Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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