i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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