The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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