If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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