I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
