I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
