I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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