i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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