I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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