New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
