Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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