is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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